The systemic change required for established congregations in decline almost always creates great chaos since the system must be shocked in order to produce new life. The heated and strong reaction to such change, generated by those who do not want it to occur for a variety of reasons, is often directed toward the pastor and the pastor’s family. It is difficult enough to be a pastor in normal circumstances, but then to add to those difficulties the anger that arises with systemic change is something most couples in ministry are neither ready for nor in some cases willing to endure. The traditional role many females married to male pastors are expected to fulfill is already a dysfunctional and unbiblical one. When extra stress is added because systemic change is being introduced the position in some cases becomes seemingly untenable. That is why Teresa has included a number of true stories by men and women in ministry, as pilots and copilots, about what they went through in leading change.  

Remember that all transformation starts with the transformer. In many cases that first change that must occur is to realize what Jesus Christ has called us to in order to follow Him well. Teresa states that this requires a “renewing of our minds”. When crisis hits, a renewed mind relies on God’s Word, not social, organizational, mental or other abilities. God’s Word reminds us that our God has called us to lead in relation to truth which includes the concept that our Lord’s Church is to make disciples. Congregations that fail regularly and consistently to make new disciples must realize they are disobedient to Jesus’ commission to His Church. God’s Word reminds us that our significance comes in knowing and obeying our Lord, not in being liked by people. God’s Word reminds us that the path to glory always goes through the Land of Suffering.  

The transformer also realizes that she or he is called to let go. God’s grand paradox is that it is in losing that we gain. It is in suffering and pain that faith is ultimately exercised. It is by faith that we know we have status with God and are really loved by our Lord no matter what people say. It is by faith that we know that when we attack the Evil One and thwart his plans (which includes non-disciple-making congregations) we will pay a cost. However, when this cost occurs there are things we can do that will help us more than survive. The right disciplines will help us fly and break spiritual sound barriers. Teresa Flint-Borden offers hope. She is clear that the hope does not come in the avoidance of pain. Rather the hope comes through allowing the pain to do its God-intended work so that those called to lead congregations through systemic change will see, like our Lord, the glory that comes through suffering. We also know that once the battle has been won God produces great joy in seeing a wonderful harvest of souls constantly coming to Jesus through the lives of vibrant, healthy congregations lead by vibrant, healthy families.  

In his work The Prince, Machiavelli wrote, “There is nothing more difficult to plan, more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to manage than the creation of a new system. For the initiator has the enmity of all who would profit by the preservation of the old institutions and merely lukewarm defenders of those who would gain by the new ones.” It is amazing that Machiavelli, 500 years ago, described congregational change so well.  

If you are now leading congregational change you must read Women Married to Men:  Breaking the Sound Barrier Together. If you are just starting to lead change, read this book first. It will help you count the cost. It will also help you to know what to do when you are paying the cost of serving Jesus well as either the male pastor or the woman married to the man in the lead position of ministry.